Category Archives: flash fiction

Speckles in the Sky

Speckles in the Sky is a tiny piece of magical realism I wrote for a friend’s retirement, because, obviously, I’ll do anything to get out of trying to think of something witty to say in three square millimetres on a card. It starts like this:

‘Coming on nicely,’ said the man jogging by. ‘Nearly there.’
Lynda turned to check out the source of this odd intrusion. Her heels spun and she almost lost her balance; damn council, leaving the pavements in disrepair. She twisted back again and found herself rotating the other way, like a rapper’s disc on a concrete turntable. Maybe it wasn’t the pavement, maybe it was the wine …

And it finishes over on TPS


How many characters can a short story accommodate?

 

 

survey (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

 

Some people had trouble downloading the report on PDF (How many characters can a short story accommodate 2 pdf) and some quite rightly don’t trust documents from the internet, so here it is in glorious WordPressy HTML! For the (obviously erudite and entertaining) preamble, go here.

 

 

 

How many characters can a short story accommodate?

 

 

 

Introduction

 

 

 

We have all read novels in which entire dynasties of personnel are detailed, each individual with their own plot arc from the tiniest bit player to the central character. The theory goes that a novel has time and space to introduce us to them all, to elaborate them and make their role memorable[1], although some do resort to glossaries which seems to be a tacit acknowledgment that the burden on memory may be a little too great for most.

 

 

 

For short stories – and probably especially flash fiction – there is less time for such elaborations and probably less tolerance of guiding footnotes, never mind appendices, and so the received advice is to have no more than three characters[2]. This is clearly aimed at reducing the potential for confusion and distraction that a greater number might bring but what is the evidence for that?

 

 

 

After being asked to consider losing a character – one that I felt was doing a pretty good job of nipping the story along and whose actions I thought could not easily be given to someone else – I suggested that, since he and another key character operated throughout as a duo, perhaps the strain on memory would be lessened as each would call up the other as a unit and not as separate entities.

 

 

 

I was speculating that a cognitive process called ‘chunking’[3] might be taking place whereby information is processed in organised parcels, when these make sense, rather than as individual elements. Thinking of a phone number; once learned, the dialling code becomes a single entity and not the several constituent digits and the remaining string is often mentally broken up by a rhythm that parcels the digits into smaller packages. Similarly, words soon become whole units rather than strings of letters – and if you have come across the, apparently fake, experiment in spelling manipulation[4] whereby several letters in all the words on the page are changed and the text is still readable, you will appreciate how that economy facilitates reading.

 

 

 

I had no evidence for my theory, I remarked on this during a tutorial and I was challenged to find some. Quite possibly, an experimental methodology was not the one anticipated, but for me here was a hypothesis in need of testing. There follows an account of a very preliminary investigation into whether or not chunking might be operating when characters come as pairs rather than individuals. It is probably the first layer of quite a large cognitive onion.

 

 

 

Method

 

 

 

I found a number of fictional and non-fictional duos[5] that seemed likely to be recognisable by most people, especially in the UK but possibly also elsewhere: names such as Morecambe and Wise, Mork and Mindy, for instance. Then I found a similar number of names that had corresponding contexts but were not paired: (Han) Solo and (Jean Luc) Picard (star ship captains in sci fi films/programmes), Sherlock and Poirot (detectives)[6]. I designed two very brief tests of memory – recognition and recall – that were, in fact, not testing memory per se but the distribution of items remembered.

 

 

 

The Recognition test

 

 

 

Using SurveyMonkey[7], I presented participants with a list of names drawn from one half of each pair: Morecambe  Mindy, Picard, and Poirot, for instance. I asked participants to read through the list of 28 words twice at most and then go to the next page. I gave them no information about the purpose of the survey, or the nature of the stimuli – that these constituted paired or non-paired names.

 

 

 

On this page, a further list of words was presented, half of which were ones the participants had seen before, the rest being the corresponding item in the pair; for instance, Wise, Mindy, Solo, and Poirot. I asked people then to use the check boxes to show which ones they recognised from the first list.

 

 

 

The hypothesis I was testing is this: there would be more ‘false hits’ or intrusions [identification of a name not seen on the first list] among characters normally found in pairs than those of non-pairs because pairs constitute a single item in memory i.e. they would be chunked.

 

 

 

The null hypothesis – and there should always be one – was that there would be no difference in false hits between the two groups of paired and non-paired names.

 

 

 

I asked people to resist the temptation to go back to look at the list. SurveyMonkey is not geared to experimental designs and would allow that function although I had disguised the button that effected this.

 

 

 

The Recall test

 

 

 

On the next page I presented participants with a further list of names. These were all the names they had not seen in the earlier lists – just 14 in all – and included Mork and Sherlock, for instance. Again I asked people to read through the list no more than twice and to go on to the next page. Here, I asked people to list all the names they could remember from that list without going back to look. Again, I gave no information about the aims of the study or the paired or non-paired nature of the names. Recall is much more difficult than recognition and so a smaller group of words seemed adequate.

 

 

 

The hypothesis for this test was not the number of names recalled but the nature of them. I expected to see a number of intrusions from the corresponding duos with more of these being from the paired than the unpaired category. The null hypothesis was that there would be no difference in the distribution of intrusions.

 

 

 

Results

 

 

 

I was looking for intrusions into recognition and recall of unseen items that might have been triggered by associations among items that the participants had seen. I expected there to be more of these in the case of paired items than non-paired items because I believed that well known pairs of names may be stored as a single unit – chunked – not as individual items and so have the cognitive load of one and not two units of memory.

 

 

 

I put out a link to the survey via twitter, Facebook, my blog, and LinkedIn. The target population was likely to include both writers and health scientists. There was a number of re-tweets of the link which potentially widened the catchment population.

 

 

 

After five days, sixty six participants had completed the study. I closed it at this point as a number remarked on what they saw as their ‘appalling short term memory’ and it seemed judicious to remove the temptation to return to the study from a different computer in the hope of a ‘better’ score.

 

 

 

Recognition

 

 

 

The sixty six participants generated a total of 637 responses to the items they saw on the first list, 88 of which (13.8%) were intrusions.

 

 

 

Of the 88 intrusions, 77.27% were of paired items, 23.26% of non-paired items.

 

 

 

As percentages of the total of responses: 10.68% (68) were from the paired category, 3.4% (20) from the non-paired category.

 

 

 

This distribution is in the predicted direction: i.e. there were more intrusions from the paired category than the non-paired category.

 

 

 

To examine the significance of the figures, I applied a t-test for independent measures. This is a way of making sure that the outliers that can affect averages and percentages are put into proper perspective and checked against expected statistical norms[8].

 

 

 

This gave rise to a t value of 1.87 with 12 degrees of freedom. Using one-tail values because my prediction was only concerned with one direction – I did not expect a deleterious effect of paired items on recognition – this is significant at the .05% level, which means that the result could be expected to come about by chance on only 5% of occasions. Put another way, there is a 95% chance the result reflects a real effect.

 

 

 

Recall

 

 

 

The sixty six participants reported 217 items, including 20 (9.22%) intrusions. The range of reporting was 0-12 items with most people (15) recalling around three items.

 

 

 

Of the intrusions; 9 (45%) were from the paired category, 2 (10%) were from the non-paired category, 5 (25%) came from the first list and 4 of these were paired, and 4 (20%) were miscellaneous and may or may not have been associated in some way with seen items.

 

 

 

Paired responses, including intrusions, constituted 115 of the total – 7.82%

 

 

 

Non-paired responses, including intrusions, made up 93 of the total – 2.15%

 

 

 

The numbers are too small for statistical analysis but again the distribution is in the predicted direction.

 

 

 

Conclusions

 

 

 

This was a somewhat off-the-cuff study[9] using item pairs that had not been independently validated, survey software that did not preclude re-visiting of the lists, and an uncontrolled sample with no systematically recorded or required demographic data. For these reasons, the direction in which the results point is probably more valid a platform for discussion than the percentages and statistics. Nevertheless, these support my hypotheses that pairs intrude more often than non-pairs even when the non-pairs are contextually associated and might trigger each other, which may have been the case with Dobby, Porlock, and Zippy [Noddy, Warlock/Gandalf, a Rainbow character like Bungle].

 

 

 

This might mean, as I suspect, that they are being chunked and so represent less of a cognitive load, and this might in turn mean that where characters consistently operate together in fiction, you might just get away with exceeding the stated dose.

 

 

 

What this exercise goes no way to answering is whether the premise is valid in the first place – can people really manage only three characters in a short story or flash piece?  How closely related/interactive/similar do the characters have to be in order to be chunked? There is, I think, a plethora of dissertations in that.

 

 

 


[1] I have found very little direct evidence or theoretical rationale for this, although it seems to make intuitive sense.

[2] Again, evidence for a rationale seems to be lacking although there is plenty of repetition of the advice which is occasionally presented as a rule.

[3] ‘The recall or forgetting curve illustrate that each item in a cluster typically requires about the same amount of time to recall’ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chunking_(psychology)

[8] Robson, C. Experiment, Design & Statistics. Penguin, 1994. P 71-81.

[9] A scientific report would necessarily include a greater amount of theoretical background into which findings would be placed for discussion. This is a ‘quick and dirty’ exploration based on a small component of memory which itself is influenced by many factors not taken account of here.

 


Comic Relief

Happy Red Nose Day

 

 

Every two years in the UK, madness breaks out. We stick on red clown noses, sit in baths of baked beans, and shave our heads. Well, not all of us, obviously, but enough to prompt the rest of us to cough up cash to help disadvantaged people here and abroad.  Comic Relief is the uncontained, arsey version of Children in Need and even our senior politicians feel obliged to take part. My bit is easy – I’m asking you to flex your muscles while I sit here and wait. There are eleven comments on my little bit of Lascaux flash so far – ten more by midnight tonight UK time = £50.00 to Comic Relief. Go on – All the Birthdays, Lascaux Flash competition

 


All the Birthdays – Lascaux flash competition

And coming in at Number One, it’s All the Birthdays by Moi! Ok, so it’s just that it’s the first up but admit it, you’d milk that Top Spot too wouldn’t you? Go and have a look – only 245-ish words so no time at all. And it’s a bit of a shocker. You’ll like that.


All the Birthdays

English: Lascaux Caves - Prehistoric Paintings...

 

‘All the Birthdays’ is my entry for this year’s Lascaux flash competition. Submissions will start appearing on March 6th so if you fancy a jolly good wallow in loads of quick reads, or indeed popping in a bit of your own flash, that’s the place to go. ‘Doomcha Doof was my 2012 entry and seemed to be judged pretty but baffling. Or maybe just pretty baffling. I’ve aimed this time for more clarity but will settle for better quality bafflement as a good second!

 


‘The Wild Rose and the China Doll’

‘On a frozen beach, brown waves thundering under a gritty pier and a grittier sky, God got his own back and I burst, sparkling, into life’. Full of Crow has beautiful graphics, and now it has ‘The Wild Rose and the China Doll’; I am so pleased.


‘Cat Nav’ flash fiction on EDF

“Now you’ll stay in at night,” Joe told Houdini, the big, orange, cantankerous-looking tabby he was trying to stuff into a carrier. Not flippin’ likely, said Houdini, although of course he didn’t because he was a cat …

On Every Day Fiction today.


‘Silent Noise’: a dialogue-only experiment

This is experimental, it is a conversation between a psychiatrist and her patient, but they are not quite alone. The experiment is in the instruction at the end, if you would be so kind as to read on:

 

Please come in, Phil. Take a seat take a seat very neat over here look at him he’s walking funny lame bastard

Phil, talk to me, what brings you here today?

Piss off! What do you care? in her lair you walked in Walking.

Walking, Phil? Talk walk you’re an orc ha-fucking-ha What are you looking at?

You’re all the same, think you know I know you know we knows your nose Your nose is a rose. rose up crazy cow jumped over the moon loony high tunes

Fuck off out of it, crazy cow don’t talk to her she’ll knock you out lock you up look at her eyes devil’s eyes those are

Devil’s eyes. Devil’s eyes?

 

 

Whose eyes are Devil’s eyes, Phil? don’t tell her keep it secret we’ll know ho ho say it lo Secret.Tell me about the secret.

 

What’s the secret, Phil?

 

 

Secrets haven’t always been good things, have they? finish her off she’s sucking your mind out of your ears Ears. Shears. Cut them off. Very funny. out of your ears

Ears

go on do it Ears, Phil? she deserves it interfering old witch

Ears

look at him crazy as a loon loony lunatic tock tick

Piss off. cut them off Cut off. she deserves it witch bitch snitch Cut what off, Phil?

devil’s eyes devil’s ears Your phone? Did they cut your phone off? seeing through walls telling god devil’s tongue all rotten maggots for teeth

Your teeth are wicked. My teeth are wicked? What do you mean, Phil? maggots in that hole bet she eats shit bet she screws corpses bet she screws you Phil, do you need to stay with us again? I can find you a bed. Screw you. Succubus she’s going to suckubus the life out of you you’ll be dead dread bed Bed. Good decision, Phil. Let me just call the ward, get your life back on track.

your life give her the knife your knife take her life bitch witch

My life, your life, witch bitch. Who’s the witch bitch, Phil? Whose life are we talking about? life wife devil’s wife she’s got devil’s spawn in her cut it out evil bastard cut it out Cut it out.What do you want to cut out, Phil? Something bad? Bad is sad. Very sad. You’re sad? Sad is bad. poke it out cut it out devil’s cub slut whore mother mary Comes to me. Words of wisdom. Well, I think you’re very wise. It’s good you can say you’re sad, Phil. Maybe we can help. I need somebody. That’s good to hear, you’re not alone, Phil. see they’re all listening not alone walls have ears fears shears cut her open cut the devil’s whore rip out the antichrist Christ. Christ’s mother. Mary? is a scary fairy ha ha ha kill the bitch You’re carrying a bastard. What, Phil? What do you mean? Mother Mary comes to me with poison in her womb. cut it out cut it out get rid of the stinking pup and its bitch whore mother Bitch whore mother fucked the devil. Cut it out now, bitch whore mother. Bitch bastard double trouble

Phil?

 

 

Don’t worry. Be happy.

***

Sitting with someone who is hallucinating means there are three people in the room. Unfortunately, the doctor or therapist can only guess at what the third entity is doing and how that influences their patient. Please now use your mouse to highlight the whole piece. 

(c) suzanne conboy-hill 2012


‘Promotion’

Space Station.jpg

Promotion

Fliss compressed her short, squat frame further into the burned out hollow of the hull, shoving Hennessey’s evacuated carcass aside and flicking indeterminate debris casually off her weapons harness. She holed up to consider strategy.

Fliss was a soldier; a grunt on the peri-solar defence ring where killing aliens, not caring platitudes, got you through a shift. She looked down at her uniform, or what passed for one after this morning’s skirmish, and scraped off the residue it had collected from the blast that took out her unit’s communications array. Most of her squad had gone with it and some of the residue was biological but Fliss didn’t much care whose just so long as it wasn’t hers.  She kicked the mess away with her boot, checked out her shoulder mountings for ammunition and headed off into the silence that used to be the galley. One survivor, not human. She shot it without ceremony and moved on, disregarding the plea for help it had registered on its translation device.

Fliss was not given to social communication; few of them here were, thrust out onto the edges of civilisation. How long had it been? Ten years? And had any relief units been sent up? No!  A flicker of anger caught momentarily then disappeared under Fliss’s cold dismissal. She had avoided execution by taking this option and the company of like-minded ‘volunteers’ had proved physically and sexually entertaining. No hardship, she concluded, hefting aside the stinking morass that had been another invader and squirming through the gap in the bulkhead towards the bridge.  She opened a com channel and hissed a command. They’d better be there or she’d make them wish the bastard crawlers had got them. A slight smile curled up one side of her mouth, that might be an entertaining distraction if push came to shove.

The ship hummed and throbbed as its automated repair systems got started on reconstruction. Fliss wiped something viscous off her face and onto her pants and the fabric felt slick with – what? Blood? Vomit? No, lubrication oil, some of the life support gaskets must have blown – shit! She pressed on, the urgency was cranking up; if this tub was holed too seriously…

The bridge was empty. A huge gap in the far skin was sealed now by the emergency force field unit but not before what was left of the crew had been spaced. One body remained, the commander, an honest woman here out of duty. Fliss probed Mackenzie’s top pocket for her ID, lingering momentarily over a breast hardened with rigor – nice tits, shame – then ran the bio-chip through her scan-and-rip software and elevated herself to officer class. Might as well be her family got the compensation payout as anyone else’s she thought.  She stuck the tag into the sub light transfer unit and squatted down next to Mackenzie’s body to wait for the air to run out.

(c) suzanne conboy-hill 2012. First published on PowFastFiction,  October 2010. Sadly, PowFast is now closed so I had to find a new home for this nasty little psychopath before she ran out of aliens and crew-mates.


‘Five Shades for Greg’ now loose on the blog

book cover 5 shades fkor GregFive Shades for Greg 

I pulled him closer, my hands almost greedily devouring his body. I had to get this right. I had to make these darned things fit around the bulging muscles of his arms and, oh my, the bulging muscles in his thighs. I would think about his bulging manhood later, right now I had to concentrate like I’d never concentrated before. I pressed my lips together into a hard line and rolled my eyes. It was going to be hard, very hard – and that was a promise! I smothered a smirk.

‘Stand up, Greg,’ I ordered. It felt very nice to be in control, but I was struggling to keep my breathing steady as I worked my arms over his head and wriggled the loops luxuriously down over his shoulders. Those manly shoulders – so delicious! I smoothed down the flimsy fabric of his lycra top with my hands, and couldn’t contain a tiny gasp as I anticipated running them later over the bare body that pulsed beneath.

‘Bend your knees,’ I murmured into his ear, ‘and breathe in.’ I skimmed the next layer down over his chest, hovering provocatively over his rock-hard nipples, and anchored it in place by its fine cord straps. I was standing over him and he peeked up at me under those hooded lids with the long, black, eyelashes that tickled like butterflies when I made him kiss my … I had to bite my lips quite hard to stop my mind from wandering, and now I was distracted by some very warm feelings ‘down below’. Jeez, this was such a turn-on! I gyrated my hips a little, just to remind him, to tease him. Then I shook myself and got back on the job – as it were.

‘Turn around.’ I said, my voice husky with desire. I didn’t know if I could bear this; that tight sheer material pulled across those exquisite buttocks. I took a deep breath, which pulled my white top with its distinctive grey markings tight across my breasts. ‘Now bend over,’ I instructed. He leaned forward over the coal black ring, thrusting his rear out towards me so that I gasped and almost had a you-know-what right there and then. I noticed how compliant he was, how malleable, how easy it would be to just … I wanted to resist, really I did, to enjoy this tantalising episode and make it into a fantasy for later on, but my hand somehow raised itself and flew forwards, smacking his right buttock with a loud CRACK! His face was already flushing crimson because the restraints of the top half of the contraption were digging into his abs, and now he wore a wicked grin that made me want to smack the left cheek to make it as red as the first one must be and match the cheeks on his face. I held back though, just.

‘Pull up the base by its straps and clip them to the leather band round your waist,’ I purred – and he obeyed, it was so very exciting! I took the straps at the rear and pulled them slowly, sinuously up over his legs and fixed them to the bottom of the contraption. He was so helpless in this rig! I thought about taking advantage, about putting him on a lead there and then and taking him home to give him more – well - detailed attention. But no, we had something else to do first. I pulled on the cord dangling from the back of the device, just where the arch of his spine met his beautifully curved coccyx. Presto! The layers dropped open front and back with all five in the right order: blue, gold, black, green, and red, all hooped and linked like lampshades on an exotic human vaulting pole. I picked up my replica torch and checked outside for the transport– we had a ceremony to get to.

(c) suzanne conboy-hill 2012

First published by Ether Books, August 4th, 2012 and placed third in the Ether Olympic flash downloads competition.


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